Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

Posts tagged “Rob with glasses

Fuckhawt Fanfic Monday: Geekward Rob

First off, a hearty (with extra vibe!) welcome to @amberchagrined, our newest co-blogger on RobNips! @amberchagrined has a extra special place in her *ahem* heart for Geekward Rob…

Remember that day that both Twitter and Facebook were down? Somehow we made it through several consecutive hours of no access to Robporn or our fellow Robficionados, but we did not escape unscathed. Remember the Great Photo Blackout of Summer ’09? Devastation abounded. We truly are dependent on our electronically delivered Rob smut.

The truth is that our enjoyment of all things Rob is intrinsically linked to technology – the scans of photos and the photos themselves disseminated on Twitter and various Rob-centric sites daily; computers that hold our stashes of the Rob goods; Ipods and mp3 players loaded with Rob movies and songs; and even the wallpapers and ringers on our cell phones — all deliver a constant stream of Rob-goodness.

But have you ever woken up, ready to get your daily Rob fix online, only to discover that your COMPUTER IS NOT WORKING?! Panic sets in. What do you need? You know EXACTLY what you need — Geekward Rob. Not only will he service all of your hardware and software issues, he’s adorably clumsy and awkward in your presence. Yes, Geekward Rob can administer my network any time. While you may need him to tend to your technology issues, he needs you to school him in other, more human, matters. Private tutoring has never been this much fun.

Geekward Rob is working right now to bring you MORE Rob.

Geekward Definitions:

chagrin — that sinking feeling one experiences in the pit of one’s stomach when the IT department of one’s employer notices the huge file folder on the hard drive of one’s work computer named RobPorn

dazzled – the slightly euphoric and pleasant emotion associated with exposure to all things Rob, including exposure via the use of technology

hard drive — a device that allows one to save Geekward Rob-related media in various forms; also the effect that such media may have on one’s libido

The Geek-Word

So, for those of us who like to get our freak on with Geekward Rob, check out these fuckhawt fanfics.

The first fucktastic post

Have you ever wished that this…
was really this?

If so, you may have just found your safe haven!
What makes Rob-Nipulations so fucktastic? Because Rob-Nipulations is all about YOU. That’s right, you. We want to make your dreams come true! (we may or may not use our influence on @RobsButtonsBabe to make some of our dreams come true too…)

So hop on this gravy train! Email your sexiest/funniest idea to with a picture to Robnipulate. We’ll do our best to make your fantasies come alive!

Now, as you probably know — since you are clearly enamored enough of Rob to have found your way here — the Robsessed have our own language. To help you make the often difficult transition from “casual fan” to completely Robsessed, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to help de-code some language from the Robster Dictionary that you may have heard recently…
Of course, when we say Robster, we aren’t talking about him…

(although we would tap old Robster anytime)

We’re actually talking about HIM…

Alright. To begin your education, the following are some of the entries in the Robster Dictionary:

Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch “Rob” with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

Rob demonstrates Robnipulation.

Rob block (noun): Much like a cock block, a person who prevents you from getting your Rob on. See also: boss, family members, etc.

Obvious case of Rob blocking

Robrator (noun): a Rob shaped vibrator. This has MANY uses, we assure you.

Why yes, that is a vibrator in my pants…
(Source: Twilight Moonlighter)

Robsicle (noun): a fabulously tasty frozen Rob confection

We wantz it too. sigh

Roblicious (adjective): the state of being as delicious as Rob

Grrr. Arrrgh. He makes us want to pillage him.

Robsturbate (verb): What we are all doing while looking at the above… Don’t bother denying it. You know you were.

Robgasm (noun): The obvious conclusion to Robsturbation.

Love it? Hate it? Let us know. Email or find us on Twitter!

Thanks to @ stephanyyyx3, @Kortnii, @ Bandmum1, @julieperk, @ceridwen28, @chancecc, and @ LoveySydney for their help coming up with rob-words!