You’ve dashed into a little deli to pick up a quick cup of coffee and a bagel, knowing you have 20 minutes left in your lunch break and a boss who does not tolerate lateness. You double check the time, anxious to check out, fumbling with your cell phone, wallet, and money. An imposing voice tells you your total and something about that tone causes you to look up at the cashier. You can’t answer his question, you don’t remember the question; in fact, for a second you can’t remember your name or why you are there. Why?
You are faced with Cashier Rob in all of his fuckhawt glory. You are dazed by the set of his jaw, the way his lips move when he speaks, the way his hair catches the light. Sucked into the depth of his eyes, you realize you’ve missed what he’s said again. He must think you’re a ditz! He seems to laugh a little at you, dazzling you with his smile, as you stammer a response to the question you’ve once again forgotten.
You want him to handle more than your money… Suddenly, visions of taking that apron off of him, of being lifted onto that counter, of wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him close to you fill your mind. As you watch his hands reach out for the cash you’re holding out, you imagine those hands all over you. He wishes you a good day and asks you to come again soon. Breathless, you tell him you’ll definitely be coming frequently.
All right, class, quiet down and take your seats. Today we will be continuing your lesson in the language of the Robsessed. Take out a pencil, a piece of paper, and, of course, your Robster’s Dick-tionary so we can get started…
I SAID QUIET DOWN, PEOPLE! YOU DON’T WANT ME TO WHIP OUT MY RULER AND SPANK YOU, DO YOU?!
Oh, I see you do…
Well, in any event, on with the show!
Robfix (noun): Something that feeds your craving for Rob and which may result in Robgasms, such as watching fuckhawt videos made by your fellow Robsessed:
Bad Things, by @RobsButtonsBabe
Buttons, by @RobsButtonsBabe
Robginity (noun): What you lose on the momentous day that you fall for Rob and begin having naughty, naughty thoughts of what you want to do with and/or to him.
Robnial (noun): Refusing to entertain the thought that Rob dates, has sex with, or even looks at anyone besides you, thus allowing you to continue your naughty Rob fantasies.
This concludes today’s lesson. Before you go, I want to remind you that I’ll be conducting your one-on-one oral examinations tomorrow. You need to be prepared to take it all, because this is definitely going to be the biggest one you’ve ever had. Class dismissed.
**Many thanks to @Susanchicago for her contributions in this post!