Is your house/apartment/box falling down around you? Are you looking to make a few upgrades? Contractor Rob is here to help.
With those talented hands, ever efficient Contractor Rob can help you get anything you want. Want a new bathroom? Done. Want a new deck? Done. Want a no-holds barred screaming robgasm? Contractor Rob can get that done as well. And if you like things a little more rough, Contractor Rob already has protection. I’m talking about his hardhat, of course…
As you walk in, sliding onto a stool at the bar, your eyes widen when you see the new bartender asking you, “What’s your pleasure?” Ohmigod, it’s fuckhawt Bartender Rob. There’s something about the way his luscious lips wrap around the word “pleasure” that instantly makes you feel tingly in all the right places. It takes a moment for you to snap your mouth shut. You give him your order and can’t take your eyes off of him as his deftly mixes your drink with long, agile fingers that you can just imagine reaching across the bar to caress your face, moving down your neck, unbuttoning your blouse, pushing it open, skimming along your sides . . . You are snapped out of your reverie when he hands you a drink. He looks intently into your eyes and, as you are drowning in his, he asks you what’s wrong.
Before you know it, you are talking and laughing. It’s a slow night and he keeps your glass filled and you entertained. You slip easily into a conversation that somehow goes on for hours without you realizing it. At some point, you realize your girls never showed up, and you’re actually thankful. Every time he speaks, you watch his lips, imagining how they would feel on your neck There’s something about the scruff on his cheeks that makes you want to nuzzle into it. Almost of it’s own volition, your hand reaches out to touch the top of his chest. He puts his hand over yours, and announces last call without looking up from your eyes. Your mouth, something you used to control with some facility, inexplicably opens and blurts out, “You’re beautiful.” He licks his lips and smiles a gorgeous crooked smile, and somehow your entire focus is on that lovely pink tongue as it moves in slow motion, that full bottom lip, the angular lines of his jaw.
Other patrons file out, but he asks you to stay, and you do, still talking easily as he wipes down the bar. Suddenly, he’s in front of you and you’re pulling him to you, wrapping your legs around his waist. Common sense, work tomorrow, everything else flies out of your mind and you melt into Bartender Rob. Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff!
For more fuckhawt Bartender Rob…
All right, class, quiet down and take your seats. Today we will be continuing your lesson in the language of the Robsessed. Take out a pencil, a piece of paper, and, of course, your Robster’s Dick-tionary so we can get started…
I SAID QUIET DOWN, PEOPLE! YOU DON’T WANT ME TO WHIP OUT MY RULER AND SPANK YOU, DO YOU?!
Oh, I see you do…
Well, in any event, on with the show!
Robfix (noun): Something that feeds your craving for Rob and which may result in Robgasms, such as watching fuckhawt videos made by your fellow Robsessed:
Bad Things, by @RobsButtonsBabe
Buttons, by @RobsButtonsBabe
Robginity (noun): What you lose on the momentous day that you fall for Rob and begin having naughty, naughty thoughts of what you want to do with and/or to him.
Robnial (noun): Refusing to entertain the thought that Rob dates, has sex with, or even looks at anyone besides you, thus allowing you to continue your naughty Rob fantasies.
This concludes today’s lesson. Before you go, I want to remind you that I’ll be conducting your one-on-one oral examinations tomorrow. You need to be prepared to take it all, because this is definitely going to be the biggest one you’ve ever had. Class dismissed.
**Many thanks to @Susanchicago for her contributions in this post!
No really, go look.
This RobNip was created at the request of @Melainii
However, Rob in your bed is one of our most popular requests! So @Melainii can’t have all the fun…
These next two manips, which epitomize fuckhawtness, were requested by that dirty bitch @xxooandcookies
Drink it in, bitches! Go head and robsturbate. We’ll turn our heads. Robgasms for all!
Remember, we’re here to make your fantasies come to life. Email your wishes to RobNipulations@gmail.com with a picture to Robnipulate. We’ll do our best to make them come true.
Please also remember to be respectful with your requests. We receive many requests, and it is not always possible to create exactly what you want, especially if you don’t give picture inspiration. Thanks!
So hop on this gravy train! Email your sexiest/funniest idea to RobNipulations@gmail.com with a picture to Robnipulate. We’ll do our best to make your fantasies come alive!
Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch “Rob” with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.
Rob block (noun): Much like a cock block, a person who prevents you from getting your Rob on. See also: boss, family members, etc.
Obvious case of Rob blocking
Robrator (noun): a Rob shaped vibrator. This has MANY uses, we assure you.
Why yes, that is a vibrator in my pants…
(Source: Twilight Moonlighter)
Robsicle (noun): a fabulously tasty frozen Rob confection
Roblicious (adjective): the state of being as delicious as Rob
Robsturbate (verb): What we are all doing while looking at the above… Don’t bother denying it. You know you were.
Robgasm (noun): The obvious conclusion to Robsturbation.
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