Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

Posts tagged “Bel Ami Rob

Sex-a-licious Saturday: Period Style Costume Porn

You know sometimes dressing up can be very fun . . . especially when some undressing is also involved.  Darling, dear Rob transforms instantly into suave, debonair, corset-dropping Rob when clothed in period style costume.

I think I know why guys wore top hats back then.  The
hat proved useful they became, errr, aroused … making certain things quite easy to hide
all the while looking like they were demonstrating respect,  while taking their hats off to the ladies. The bowing in greeting — that also  helps hide the disco stick.

Period style costume:  fuckhawt and useful all at once.

And then I shall grace you with none other than the BULGING BUTTONS!

Like seriously,  how can he even FIT both his hands in them pants with a bulge like that??  Just seeing BOTH hands in his pockets makes me want to volunteer my services in relieving those bulging buttons.

A huge thank you to @vanessarae1 for her help on this post

Robster’s Dicktionary: Bel Ami Edition

Today we are continuing your Rob education (or Robucation, if you will) by giving you some more entries in the Robster Dicktionary:

Bel Ami style


Du Rob/Du bert (proper noun): Despite the actual name of Rob’s character being Du Roy, that’s just not robsessive enough.

Faux sex (noun, with adjective): What Rob will be having during the filming of Bel Ami, much to his chagrin. Lots of hot, up against the wall, in a stagecoach… faux sex.

Mustache rides (noun/verb, depending on usage):  What Rob’s character, Du Rob, will be graciously providing for the female characters in Bel Ami. Doesn’t he look excited already?!

Robfair (verb): The act of having a physical (or, more likely, emotional, psychological, drug-induced) affair with Robert Pattinson. See also, robgasms, robnial, robtimatums and robterventions.

Adultery (noun): What Rob will repeatedly be committing as Du Rob in Bel Ami. Damned if we can’t wait for it!

Jealousy (noun): What we feel every time there is a rumor that Rob has hooked up with another hot young thing (even if we just hear that some new chick gets to make out with him for a bit). Bitches.


Thanks to the people who helped think up new entries in the Robster Dicktionary!!

@spidermonkey00 @Tedracat @VancityLili @callsignC30

RobNip™ 18.3 – Bel Ami Rob

See, today we’re exploring the harsh realities of Bel Ami. Along with all of that sex and fuckhawtness comes…. Rob having faux fuckhawt sex with other women. Everywhere. Really, this movie is a mixed blessing.

I’m certainly DYING to see Rob bang someone *coughmecough* in a stagecoach. Or in an opera house. Or anywhere at all, in any position whatsoever. But I’m somewhat less excited to see him banging Uma Thurman, Kristen Scott Thomas, and Christina Ricci.

To clarify: I have nothing against these ladies. They’re all attractive, and they’ve held up really well (or spectacularly) given their respective ages. And I’m sure they’re lovely people.

Unfortunately, I’m never going to really appreciate them in this movie, because in my head, I will be superimposing my face over their faces. Bel Ami Rob will be banging ME in the stagecoach. End of story.

We’re all allowed to dream, right? (At this juncture, I feel I must clarify. I used one of @robsbuttonsbabe’s fabulous manips and sullied it with cartoon me.  That is the only (piss-poor) demonstration of my amazing Photoshop skillz on this page….)

Oh well. Maybe one day… I’ll keep hoping 🙂

RobNip™ 18.2 – Bel Ami Rob

As you know, this week, in addition to celebrating the Robeard, we are also celebrating Rob’s upcoming role in Bel Ami!

We’re incredibly excited for this movie (and the pictures from the set), for a number of reasons.

1. There is sex. Lots of it. TONS of it. The story is about a man who sleeps his way to success. What’s not to love about that?!

2. Rob will once again be in period costume. Remember how hot he was in (his deleted scene in) Vanity Fair? Fuckhawt! God damn, I’m gonna need a few minutes to recover. Tight-fitting pants, billowing shirts, etc. Gah! I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it.

3. The only thing better than period costumes (or tight fitting jeans). NUDITY. Now, this is complete speculation on our parts, but girls can dream, can’t they? I think it would be completely appropriate for Rob to have a nude scene or 10.  He’s already shown a willingness to be nude in other parts (yes, I’m referring to “the tuck.” countdown to group shudder in 3… 2… 1…). But seriously. Now that studios have shown a willingness to put full male frontal in movies — Sex and the City or Scary Movie, anyone? — we think we have a good case. Honestly, what would make for a bigger box office than period dressed Rob peen?!

And so now we go back to imagining that that is us in the above picture. Join us tomorrow for more of @robsbuttonsbabe’s artistic renderings of what we’re hoping for in Bel Ami.

RobNip™ 18.1 – Bel Ami Rob

How refreshing! Soon we will be able to see a man sleeping his way to the top. That’s right, Rob’s performance in Bel Ami will be something to behold.

Whether Duroy Rob is taking a lady in a stagecoach or engaging in a threesome, it’s fairly clear that there will be no shortage of volunteers to help him make it to the top…

Any takers?