Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

Posts tagged “Johnny Deppbert

RobNip™ 46.5 – Cry Baby Rob

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Johnny Depp may have rocked that pompadour HARD in Cry Baby, but I’m pretty sure that Rob, hair greased up high in that leather jacket, rocks it even HARDER!

Cry Baby Rob has the ability to turn even “square” girls into naughty vixens — you know he’s done the same thing to us!  Even when he’s doing hard time, Cry Baby Rob manages to look so good it’s positively criminal.  Just thinking of him behind bars is making me cry a single, hot tear — yeah, it’s no surprise that Rob is making me moist in all the right places!

Upon his release from the penn, I am gonna show Cry Baby Rob the best time he’s ever had.   And then we’ll get tattooed together to commemorate the event — if you can call a week-long romp a single event.

Now excuse me while Cry Baby Rob croons a song, I need to prepare for that “event.”


RobNip™ 46.4 – Sweeney Todd Rob

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As we join Rob on his journey through Johnny Depp’s most memorable roles we can’t help but be a little afraid of Sweeney Rob.  After all, the demon barber of Fleet Street, with the assistance of Mrs. Lovett,  turned his victims into “meat pies” which bear a startling resemblance to Hot Pockets.

While Sweeney Rob looks dreamy in those period clothes (ponders — what kind of underwear would he be wearing),  and while he gets to use that lovely voice of his (*cue panties melting*) the whole serial killer aspect of the role kinda freaks me out a little. Wait, if I imagine myself at Mrs. Lovett, can I wear a corset? ‘Cause my boobs would be rockin’ in a corset. Surely that would  distract Sweeney Rob from his murderous doings!

Alright, we’ll let Sweeney Rob get back to his practiced use of the straight razor while we further consider these matters.  I’ll be looking for my corset. Hot Pocket, anyone?


RobNip™ 46.3 – Edward Scissorhands Rob

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We love it when Rob revisits the roles of Johnny Depp. After all, who else could possibly make the emo-pale-anti-social-oddball thing so super hawt?! Well, hawt if you need a snappy haircut or need your “hedges trimmed.” *wink wink, nudge nudge*

Scissorhands Rob may be an “uncommonly gentle man” but . . . he looks good in black.  And a young gentleman like him needs lots of one on one time to increase his social skills and interaction, right?  Forget about Kim and her weird fake blonde straw hair, Rob Scissorhands. I’ll be happy to provide you with excellent socialization opportunities.  And, it would be GREAT to have you handy when my hedge needs trimming.


RobNip™ 46.2 – Sleepy Hollow Rob

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Hooo-rah! Just what we needed! Another movie with Rob and Christina, to remind us of the awesome upcoming movie with nudity with Rob and Christina…!

Doesn’t Ichabod Crane Rob look smexy in his “state of the art” (ahem, 1790’s) goggles?! Something about the way they frame his face and amazing jaw just yells SEX to me. Also, the boobs that are right next to his face. That may have something to do with it… RAWR Ichabod Crane Rob. You could not BE more sexalicious in that outfit. I bet your pants are tight too. *swoon* I just love historical movies!


RobNip™ 46.1 – Pirates of the Caribbean Rob

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This week at RobNips, we’re featuring Rob in some of Johnny Depp’s most memorable film roles. So, without further ado, we present JohnnyDeppbert.

Mmmm, Pirate Rob. He shivers me timbers, no lie. Dude looks hot with pirate guyliner and long hair. Wouldn’t mind showing him where X marks the spot so he can bury his treasure, savvy?