Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

Posts tagged “Fashion Fail Rob

RobNip™ 61.3 – Fashion Fail Rob

Hmm. I honestly don’t know what to say here.

Clearly Rob is attempting to emulate the traditional characteristics of vampires by strapping on a good ‘ole pair of wings. Methinks that he’s not quite pleased with the results though… Of course, if I were him, I’d be pretty pissed too. Those wings, with their high cut collar, seriously detract from the jaw porn. And those matching pleated pants? They’re doing nothing for him.

C’mere honey, lets strip that shit off you and get you back into my favorite outfit on you. Nothing.


RobNip™ 61.2 – Fashion Fail Rob

Oh dear, Fashion Fail Rob is trying his hand at walking the catwalk once again… you may remember the disastrous results during Fashion Week.

This time, Rob is showing off the abs he worked on so hard for those beach scenes in Breaking Dawn.  Rob also demonstrates that his manscaping only extends so far, that he believes a gentleman should always tuck in his shirt, and that he loves Pucci-like abstract prints.

Hmm, something seems to be missing from this pic… Something big and important.  Wait, do they make tape for that? You know, tape that sh** down?  Kind of like the tuckage that caused us all so much chagrin?

Whatever the means used to minimize his, umm assets, I definitely call this a fashion fail!


RobNip™ 61.1 – Fashion Fail Rob

Back by unpopular demand, it’s Fashion Fail Week at RobNips!

To be honest, we don’t feel particularly sorry for Rob for having to wear this metrosexual monstrosity. Sympathy should instead be directed at the poor soul who had to wax this hairball of a man down to baby smoothness. Cos…yeah. A bitch could see her reflection in that blindingly shiny chest.


RobNip™ 44.5 – Fashion Fail Rob – Day 5

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What a way to end Rob Fashion (FAIL) Week than with our boy dressed as…

What the hell is that, now that we mention it? Is there even a single word to describe an outfit that’s some kind of demented unicorn with dubious sexual orientation? Actually, yes, there is. It’s called freaky-deaky. When we think of Rob and unicorns, this is the last thing we’d dream up…or even have nightmares about. Whether it’s the assless latex or the rainbow pastel mohawk, there’s just too much wrong for us to even speak of this again. Thank God Rob left the world of modeling in lieu of acting. Girl parts the world over heave a collective sigh of sheer relief.


RobNip™ 44.4 – Fashion Fail Rob – Day 4

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Oh Fashion Week Fail Rob, when I said I wanted to “fold you like a pornographic poster,” well, that’s not quite what I had in mind.  When I said I liked your strong, broad shoulders – I meant au naturel — no ginormous shoulder pads necessary for me.  And when I said you made me feel like you were Aladdin and I was Princess Jasmine — well, what I wanted was a magic carpet ride, not for you to don felt low rise booties.

So whadya say we put the outfit into the recycling bin, lose the shoes, and give you that rolled out of bed look that you wear so well…


RobNip™ 44.3 – Fashion Fail Rob – Day 3

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At Fashion Week today, Rob shows us what he is all about . . .

…almost ethereal and cherubic in his beauty, yet those painted on and ready to peel off jeans coupled with his bare chest are a pure earthly, devilish delight.  As RobsButtonsBabe can attest, that undone top button at his fly is an invitation to “come and get it” — yes, entry into the promised land.  Hmm, and I’m pretty sure his hands are bound behind his back . . .  Oh, and do those owies need kisses and licking and loving?  I am fully prepared to provide Fashion Week Rob with whatever assistance he requires in getting out of his outfit, to get through those pearly gates and into his special delectable garden of delights.

Sometimes, I gotta say, I really, really love fashion!


RobNip™ 44.2 – Fashion Fail Rob – Day 2

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Fashion Week Fail Rob has me, quite frankly, speechless with today’s ensemble.

The hat, pieced together from Nana’s crocheted potholders, the sea anemone growing out of his collar and draped around his shoulders, the anatomically correct heart across his chest, even the attached glove — none of that fails quite  as hard as the built in weiner-and-nuts-coozie, which is clearly ill-fitting and too small.

Rob, Rob, I’ll be glad to button your shirt for you (I’ll even match them up right), find you a lovely hat to warm your pretty head, help you lose the jacket and put on your trusty hoodie, and most of all, if your bits need warming and coddling – I’m up to the task.

So come on over, and I’ll dress you up, dress you down, or best yet, just plain undress you, Rob!


RobNip™ 44.1 – Fashion Fail Rob – Day 1

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It’s Fashion (FAIL) Week at RobNips! Weeee!

Hey, we get that Rob used to be a model and that maybe he’s a little more willing to take some fashion risks. But this here is taking the word “risk” to “Nigerian investment email” proportions. What the French fry is he wearing?!? He looks like the demented offspring of Weird Al Yankovic and one of TomStu’s grandma sweaters.

And don’t get us started on the deck shoes with the red curly-cue bows. We. Have. No. Words.