Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

Fuckhawt Fanfic Monday: Geekward Rob

First off, a hearty (with extra vibe!) welcome to @amberchagrined, our newest co-blogger on RobNips! @amberchagrined has a extra special place in her *ahem* heart for Geekward Rob…

Remember that day that both Twitter and Facebook were down? Somehow we made it through several consecutive hours of no access to Robporn or our fellow Robficionados, but we did not escape unscathed. Remember the Great Photo Blackout of Summer ’09? Devastation abounded. We truly are dependent on our electronically delivered Rob smut.

The truth is that our enjoyment of all things Rob is intrinsically linked to technology – the scans of photos and the photos themselves disseminated on Twitter and various Rob-centric sites daily; computers that hold our stashes of the Rob goods; Ipods and mp3 players loaded with Rob movies and songs; and even the wallpapers and ringers on our cell phones — all deliver a constant stream of Rob-goodness.

But have you ever woken up, ready to get your daily Rob fix online, only to discover that your COMPUTER IS NOT WORKING?! Panic sets in. What do you need? You know EXACTLY what you need — Geekward Rob. Not only will he service all of your hardware and software issues, he’s adorably clumsy and awkward in your presence. Yes, Geekward Rob can administer my network any time. While you may need him to tend to your technology issues, he needs you to school him in other, more human, matters. Private tutoring has never been this much fun.

Geekward Rob is working right now to bring you MORE Rob.

Geekward Definitions:

chagrin — that sinking feeling one experiences in the pit of one’s stomach when the IT department of one’s employer notices the huge file folder on the hard drive of one’s work computer named RobPorn

dazzled – the slightly euphoric and pleasant emotion associated with exposure to all things Rob, including exposure via the use of technology

hard drive — a device that allows one to save Geekward Rob-related media in various forms; also the effect that such media may have on one’s libido

The Geek-Word

So, for those of us who like to get our freak on with Geekward Rob, check out these fuckhawt fanfics.

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