Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

Posts tagged “Roadtrip Rob

RobNip™ 52.2 – Graceland Rob

Oh hai there Rob. And the King.

I feel like there’s something so special about visiting Graceland. It’s the perfect addition to any road trip, especially for those who love music.

Mmmmm. A Rob and Elvis sandwich. Now that’s something I can get between! Methinks we’re gonna be all shook up pretty soon…

What is it that wise men say? Don’t wake up and drink before heading to Graceland? Pish. These boys LURVE to drunk! Though we’ve got a whole lotta shaking going on… Fuuuuck. I think I’m gonna ruin Elvis’ blue suede shoes.

How soon til we get back on the road?


RobNip™ 52.1 – Grand Canyon Rob

Alright, we think the road trip shenanigans may have gone too far this time. It doesn’t matter if it was Tom or Sam. But daring Rob to relive his ballet days by doing his best Swan Lake right by the edge of the Grand Canyon just isn’t funny. Okay, maybe the picture is funny. Those guys know what happens when our boy tries to dance. It’s a string cheese explosion.


RobNip™ 51.5 – Flat Tire Rob

That’s life on the road. Sometimes ya just bust a tire. We’re sure Rob wouldn’t have any trouble getting help by a few lady good samaritans just wanting to help a poor guy out. C’mere, baby, let’s work it…give you a rise…pump that jack…

Hell, we might even help with the flat tire.


RobNip™ 51.4 – Karaoke Rob and Company

Ah yes, there’s nothing Rob loves quite so much as being able to express himself through music. And that certainly includes drunken karaoke! There’s something so invigorating about getting drunk to the point of falling down, but still dragging yourself up to that stage to thrill the ladies! And thrilled we are! Don’t worry honey, if you fall down, I’ll be right there to pick you up. I’ll even hold your road trip hair back, should the inevitable happen while you are still on stage. What the hell, I’ll hold your beard back too! It’s a date!


RobNip™ 51.3 – Beer Pong Rob and Company

Today we find Rob and BFFs Tom and Sam doing what they do best — yep, practicing their number one intramural sport, Beer Pong.

They may look a little glassy eyed and happy, but we love seeing scruffy Rob cheering on his mates!  TomStu looks like his aim is a little shaky, but honestly, at this point in the evening, well after many a pint has been drained, I don’t think anyone really minds.

I am pretty sure that Beer Pong Rob needs a designated driver to take him home.  In fact, I’m volunteering right now to tuck him right where he needs to be — in my bed.  And I think his friends need rides  too.

I’m leaving it up to you, our dedicated readers, to find nice, soft, fluffy beds for Sam and Tom!


RobNip™ 51.2 – Hiking Rob and Company

Today we join Rob and Company as they hike their way across the south, on something that we will refer to as a “Happy Trail.” Look at these boys! Hard, lean, and ready to get their exercise on! Who knows… maybe they’ll find some treasure at the end of this trail! Or maybe there will be a Brokeback Mountain type situation with their dirty, sweaty selves… Wow, I just made myself totally hawt. #ishiprobstu


RobNip™ 51.1 – Road Trip Rob and Company

Oh these crazy kids and their road-trips. Hittin’ the clubs, hangin with the laydeez. You know Sam gets major play wearing that schmexy ascot. Cos nothing screams sex god quite like an ascot. Not gonna lie, TomStu looks a little creepy, like he’s fresh from a stint upstate or maybe finally quitting his job as a carny. It’s difficult to say which. And then there’s Rob. The fly polyester shirt calls all the girls to the yard, but the Long Beach baseball cap is a must. When he’s not with hiz boyz in their ill ride, you know he’s representing the LBC with Snoop D-O-double-G. Cos pasty-white English dudes just roll hardcore like that.