RobNip™ 41.1 – Spiderman Rob

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This week is all about Blockbuster roles WE KNOW Rob would

have done a better job playing. *Snicker*

Well well well!!!  Looks like those rumors should have been true!

I wouldn’t mind getting stuck in Spiderman Rob’s web.  THAT.IS.FOR.SURE.

Happy July 4th 2010!

Three cheers for the red, white, and blue, Nip fans! Happy Fourth of July from the RobNips blog to you and yours. And remember, nothing wrong with the real American dream: some alone time with Rob’s Yankee Doodle Dandy. Hey, he spends enough time working in the good ol’ U. S. of A. He can be an honorary baseball lovin, BBQing, freedom lovin’ American. Oh, and he can help himself to some of our tasty American pie anytime.

RobNip™ 40.5 – Work Out Rob

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Today we’re working up a sweat with Rob’s latest new business adventure — Work out Rob!! There are no losers when it comes to Workout dvd Rob!

Rob’s been getting more in tune with himself lately, and decided that he needs to get his mental, physical and spiritual self in shape. As a result, he’s decided to market his own line of workout dvds!

While you’re working out, you can just imagine that Rob is laying under you while you do your push ups and squats… That he’s in between your knees while you do crunches… That his face is between your breasts while you jog  in place and do jumping jacks… Erm, maybe not that last one.

But I think we can all agree that working up a sweat with Work out Rob is the best weight loss activity ever!!

RobNip™ 40.4 – Viagra Rob

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Oh, God, no! Rob, put down the Viagra! Does he have any idea what would happen if Mr. Happy got…extremely, um, ecstatic? For one thing, the entire female population would simultaneously explode from sudden, overwhelming, hyper-charged arousal. Then, the resulting fiery embers and soot would cover the entire planet, causing a catastrophic environmental conflagration. In other words, Rob, there’d be no more chicks or weed. Think about it. Just. Say. No.

RobNip™ 40.3 – Axe Shower Gel Rob

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Aw, poor Rob looks like he’s holding on to that bathmat like it’s the only thing in the world that would cuddle with him. No worries, sweet cheeks. Just give us a clothes pin to put over my noses, a few sexy nurse’s uniforms, and we’d gladly give you a nice, long sponge bath–complete with a happy ending. Just remember, though: nothing washes off shame and loss of dignity. But who cares?

RobNip™ 40.2 – Mr Clean Rob

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Mr. Clean Rob will get you all dirty, then make you clean, bit by bit.  He will definitely COME in handy.  Cuz ya know, staring at him makes your chair unsanitary after a while.  I mean look at that smooth, shiny head.  Doesn’t it remind you of another head that you’d like to get acquainted with?

Uh oh!! We may have a problem! Did you hear Mr. Clean Rob is in the hospital?

He has ammonia. *dun-dun ching* I’m here all day folks! 😉

RobNip™ 40.1 – Proactiv Rob

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Once again this week, we’re looking at the best kind of product placement: using Rob!

Whether you have regular breakouts or just have a zit or two during your cycle, Proactiv Rob is here to help! Just look at his before picture! We all know that he looks absolutely fabulous now, but did you know that he looked like that before?! This stuff is amazing! Thanks Proactiv Rob!

And, of course, if it doesn’t work out quite like planned…. there’s always Photoshop!

*Source for funny Acne Ad

The RobNips ladies need some time alone with their (filthy) thoughts…

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So, because of the influx of amazingness from last night’s Eclipse premiere, we’re taking today off 🙂 Even extra naughty girls like us need some alone time every now and again… with our pics of Rob. Ahem. And maybe a Robrator…

But you should definitely check out the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob debate we wrote for The Daily Beast!! It’s totally hilarious, if we do say so ourselves. And we do. Go HERE to check it out, and we’ll be back in the game on Monday.

Here is some gratuitous Eclipse premiere porn…

Source for Porn: StrictlyRob

Team Edward vs. Team Jacob: The Funny and The Fruitless

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Team Edward: Bella Swan’s Eternal Ice Ice Baby

“Anatomy of a Murder? Oh no. Anatomy of the Case for (un)Dead Sexy Edward Cullen…”

By The RobNipulations Blog Staff Writers

—Edward is a vampire, thus, cooler—literally and figuratively. Seriously, he’s like a walking cooler at picnics. That macaroni salad’s never going bad.

—Edward doesn’t need to eat. Bella can pig out whenever there’s a carton of Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer. Hell, she can even use his palm as a bowl if she doesn’t feel like doing dishes.

—Edward’s vampirey-ness means his hair never grows, making haircuts unnecessary. Perpetually perfect sex hair? Yes, please (and thank you).

—Edward doesn’t need to sleep. No loud snoring to keep Bella awake. Instead, he just gently hums at her and watches her sleep. Once you get over how creepy that is, you have to admit, it is rather precious and adorable.

—Edward is 109 years old. Two words: AARP discounts!

—Edward can read minds. That salesperson at the car dealership won’t ever be able to rip them off on a new car purchase, which means no money down and zero percent interest.

—As a vampire, Edward is on the exclusive list for every blood-sucking celebrity hang-out: yacht soirees thrown by Count Chocula, summers at Count Von Count’s Transylvanian villa, annual Halloween party hosted by Grandpa Munster.

—Edward sparkles in the sunlight. What girl can resist all that sparkle and dazzle? Jacob, on the other hand, just sheds and pants a lot when the sun’s out.

—Edward is gentlemanly and resists Bella’s advances for the sake of her virtue and propriety. While this is a little stuffy and boring…it is preferable to getting your leg humped constantly by a dog (i.e. Jacob).

—Edward has years of experience and a vampire’s speed and agility to boot. (If you know what I mean and I think you do.)

—Unlike every other woman in America, during moments of intimacy with Edward, there’s no need for Bella to fantasize about Robert Pattinson.

RobNip™ 39.4 – Ventriloquist Rob

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Who knew Rob could throw that sexy voice? I bet he can make me do all kinds of things using just his hands and never moving his lips. Ventriloquist with nimble fingers and a magical tongue? Dude was made for this gig. To quote the famous Señor Wences and his hand puppet Johnny: “s’alright?” Yes, baby, it’s more than “s’alright”!