Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

Robster’s Dicktionary – Lesson # 3 – Mental Health

And now, continuing our series on the language of the Robsessed:
Mental Health and treatment edition

(noun): What you experience when you find out that you are not alone in your Robsession and that there is a community of others who are just as Robsessed as you are.

RMS (noun): A syndrome that occurs before a televised red carpet event at which Rob will be appearing, caused by your excitement at the hopes of seeing him and hearing him speak, combined with your fear that you won’t. Symptoms include extreme anxiousness, spontaneous masturbation, and sleeping with your husband/significant other.

Robtervention (noun): When your friends and family members come together to confront you about their deep concerns regarding your Robsession, and attempt to put a stop to it. This is typically a result of your seriously neglect of them while you get your Robfixes.

C'mere honey. I think we need to talk...

Robtimatum (noun): A firm statement given to your significant other implying a threat if they try to deny you your Robfix, thus making them a Rob block. For example, denial of all blowjobs.

**Many thanks to @Susanchicago for her substantial contributions in this post

One response

  1. Amazing affair, I did not thought reading this was going to be so awesome when I klicked at your link.

    January 1, 2010 at 5:04 pm

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