Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

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Rob-O-Ween 2.3 – The Situation Rob

For Halloween, Rob is ready to let out those killer abs again. Wait, what killer abs? Oh, these abs are courtesy of his Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino costume!  Instead of airbrushed, these abs are foamtastic, and rather than pale sparkles, these abs come in a lovely shade of orange known as “fake tan.”  The half-shirt remains optional. In fact, The Situation Rob wants to see YOU in that half shirt!

As The Situation, Rob is ready to embrace the concepts of fitness, augmented beauties, and multi-person hot-tubbing.  He’s ready to try his hand at rap (again) and guzzle some vodka.  He can even dance!   Now I may not be augmented myself, but The Situation Rob sounds  fun, at least in a drunken Halloween-y way. And that New Jersey accent is kinda cute, right?

I may treat The Situation Rob to a shot or three in honor of Rob-O-Ween!

Heh, I just said “Rob” and “ween” in the same sentence.

Rob-O-Ween 2.2 – German Boy Rob

Now this is a costume Rob can really get into the spirit of!! Nothing like some man-tights to really get a guy in the mood to party, right? And a costume that requires a beer stein? What’s not to love?! Rob’s gonna celebrate until the cows come home tonight, methinks…

Rob-O-Ween 2.1 – Keg Rob

It’s week two of RobNips Rob-O-Ween week! And what better way to start off a Monday morning than Rob dressed as a beer keg? Because, yes, we would absolutely tap that. Get it? Keg…tap that? Yeah, okay. It’s Monday morning, alright? Can’t write the semi-passable punchlines every day of the week.

Saturday Wallpaper Spam

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*if you need a smaller size let me know!

Don’t forget to leave comments.  Cuz I’m a comment whore today! 🙂

Rob-O-Ween 1.5 – Double Occupancy Rob

Halloween might be just once a year, but Rob definitely doesn’t let this opportunity go to waste. It’s his one chance to prove to the world that he can, in fact, get laid. Even if it is with a woman made of nylon and polyfiber stuffing. We’re not sure how convincing it looks, but those feet look just like his.

Rob-O-Ween 1.4 – Knight Rob

Who says chivalry is dead? Not Knight Rob!

Except, erm, usually knights don’t try to show you their “special sword” right off the bat like that… Then again, Rob knows there won’t be any resistance to his flasher ways. Right, ladies? No problem for me!

Rob-O-Ween 1.3 – AdamBert and EveStu

Oh Rob, how kind of you to include TomStu in your Halloween shenanigans!  That’s right, Rob and Tom are ready to perform tricks for treats as Adam and Eve.

AdamBert and EveStu cover up their glorious (pasty) English skin with bodysuits, accessorized with the latest in fig leaves.  Now, as cute as they look, I think the costumes would be much more, ummm authentic  convincing FUN if they went sans clothing.  It is  true that the fig leaves might be itchy, but I am well-prepared with some lovely, soothing lotion I’d be willing to slather on any sensitive areas.

I’ve also got some candy right here for you, boys.  And a milkshake.  Or a beer. Or three.  I’ve stocked up with just the right treats and my Garden of Eden is a very welcoming place to be.  I’ll even handle that pesky “snake”  for you.

AdamBert and EveStu, you ready for your treats?

Rob-O-Ween 1.2 – Prairie Dog Rob

It’s no shock that Rob would choose to be a prairie dog for Halloween… A creature who mainly lives underground, out of the sun, out of the spotlight, coming out only to get food and have sex… Plus, it has HUGE balls!

Rob-O-Ween 1.1 – Snake Charmer Rob

It’s the RobNips First Annual Halloweenie Costume Party! Every day we’ll feature our boy trying to decide on his best, fly-est Halloween costume.

This one should be self-explanatory. The snake, if left to its own devices, will woo the wimminz so entirely and completely that ladies start passing out at the mere sight. He’s gotta keep that thing in check. Plus he plays a mean Stairway to Heaven on that flute.

RobNip™ 54.5 – Party Food Rob

Ah yes. We’ve finally come to one of the most important things about a party for Rob. The food and drink. What’s a party without some amazing greasy food? I guess now we know how his hair gets so gross… Rob, you’re supposed to wash your hands before you start running them through your hair! And, of course, it wouldn’t be a party without some beer… And by some, I mean tons. Kegs worth. Many kegs. You can’t call it a party unless Rob is slurring his words and walking into bushes, right? Just don’t “fertilize” the hydrangeas, hon.