RobNip™ 45.5 – Graduate Rob

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Back to School Rob comes to an end today, and you know what that means. Graduation.

Moving forward to bigger and better things–namely, more beer and parties. The ‘more beer’ part is especially important, of course. Can you blame a guy for wanting to celebrate? We can’t. I mean, he probably had to work really hard on his studies…classes like Smart Chicks Who Use Big Words, Embracing Your Inner Emo Vampire, and How to Lose and Unlose Your British Accent sound very challenging. Never mind that every class was taught and attended females exclusively. Pure coincidence.

RobNip™ 45.4 – Janitor Rob

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You know the student body needs all sorts of maintenance and care.  When you go back to school, feel confident and excited knowing that Janitor Rob will be there to look after you.  He’s ready to check your pipes and plumbing, he’s got amazing skillz with his hands, he’s got that lovely, dark janitor’s closet with a sturdy sink you can perch your butt on while enjoying a little between-classes rendezvous.

Janitor Rob has a really big, err, ring of keys, and with his “big ring” he has open and easy access to just about anything ifyouknowwhatImean *wink wink, nudge nudge.*   The best thing about Janitor Rob is that he is there early, late, whenever you need a quick bit of maintenance work.

RobNip™ 45.3 – Band Geek Rob and Tom

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While we are back to school with Rob this week, we are given the important reminder — never overlook the hidden hawtness of any coed, including the band geeks.

Oh yes, Band Geek Rob and Tom make the polyester look … okay who are we kidding? Even Rob and Tom can’t make the polyester look more than sticky and hot — but going to band camp with Rob and Tom, heck yes, that experience would be all sorts of sticky and hawt and yummy.  You know this one time at band camp.  . . let’s just say those band guys are really good with their fingers, right? And they’ve got all sorts muscle control over their tongues. With their breath control, they don’t have to come up for air for ages.   We’ve got a lot to catch up on, so I’ll be behind the band room with Rob and Tom, y’all go ahead and go on to class. Don’t wait up!

RobNip™ 45.2 – Nerdy Rob

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As we go back to school, once again we remember that sometimes the  most delicious boys are the ones taking advanced math and computer classes, playing D&D on the weekends, and hanging out at comic book shops.

After all, Nerdy Rob approaches his physical handling of women much like he handles any issue or problems:  he uses his superior intellect and analytical skills, he pays attention to stimuli and the ensuing reactions, and he arrives prepared to deliver at all times.

Besides, with Nerdy Rob, you know you wanna pull off those glasses, push those comic books off of his desk, and replicate some of the most interesting poses and positions his exhaustive research has turned up.

Don’t judge a book by its cover!  Nerdy Rob may need a head to toe make-over;  when nervous, he makes frankly unattractive facial expressions; and it will require some work to develop him to his full potential.  Keep your eyes on the prize and enjoy the help with your homework.  Nerdy Rob will be worth the investment!

RobNip™ 45.1 – Gym Teacher Rob

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It’s Back to School Week at RobNips and who better to school us than Rob himself?

My, my, coach Rob, what big balls you have! And let us say right now that you’d need big balls to put the RobNips ladies through their paces. We don’t tire that easily. We’d love to help you shoot and score, just don’t dribble.

RobNip™ 44.5 – Fashion Fail Rob – Day 5

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What a way to end Rob Fashion (FAIL) Week than with our boy dressed as…

What the hell is that, now that we mention it? Is there even a single word to describe an outfit that’s some kind of demented unicorn with dubious sexual orientation? Actually, yes, there is. It’s called freaky-deaky. When we think of Rob and unicorns, this is the last thing we’d dream up…or even have nightmares about. Whether it’s the assless latex or the rainbow pastel mohawk, there’s just too much wrong for us to even speak of this again. Thank God Rob left the world of modeling in lieu of acting. Girl parts the world over heave a collective sigh of sheer relief.

RobNip™ 44.4 – Fashion Fail Rob – Day 4

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Oh Fashion Week Fail Rob, when I said I wanted to “fold you like a pornographic poster,” well, that’s not quite what I had in mind.  When I said I liked your strong, broad shoulders – I meant au naturel — no ginormous shoulder pads necessary for me.  And when I said you made me feel like you were Aladdin and I was Princess Jasmine — well, what I wanted was a magic carpet ride, not for you to don felt low rise booties.

So whadya say we put the outfit into the recycling bin, lose the shoes, and give you that rolled out of bed look that you wear so well…

RobNip™ 44.3 – Fashion Fail Rob – Day 3

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At Fashion Week today, Rob shows us what he is all about . . .

…almost ethereal and cherubic in his beauty, yet those painted on and ready to peel off jeans coupled with his bare chest are a pure earthly, devilish delight.  As RobsButtonsBabe can attest, that undone top button at his fly is an invitation to “come and get it” — yes, entry into the promised land.  Hmm, and I’m pretty sure his hands are bound behind his back . . .  Oh, and do those owies need kisses and licking and loving?  I am fully prepared to provide Fashion Week Rob with whatever assistance he requires in getting out of his outfit, to get through those pearly gates and into his special delectable garden of delights.

Sometimes, I gotta say, I really, really love fashion!

RobNip™ 44.2 – Fashion Fail Rob – Day 2

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Fashion Week Fail Rob has me, quite frankly, speechless with today’s ensemble.

The hat, pieced together from Nana’s crocheted potholders, the sea anemone growing out of his collar and draped around his shoulders, the anatomically correct heart across his chest, even the attached glove — none of that fails quite  as hard as the built in weiner-and-nuts-coozie, which is clearly ill-fitting and too small.

Rob, Rob, I’ll be glad to button your shirt for you (I’ll even match them up right), find you a lovely hat to warm your pretty head, help you lose the jacket and put on your trusty hoodie, and most of all, if your bits need warming and coddling – I’m up to the task.

So come on over, and I’ll dress you up, dress you down, or best yet, just plain undress you, Rob!

RobNip™ 44.1 – Fashion Fail Rob – Day 1

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It’s Fashion (FAIL) Week at RobNips! Weeee!

Hey, we get that Rob used to be a model and that maybe he’s a little more willing to take some fashion risks. But this here is taking the word “risk” to “Nigerian investment email” proportions. What the French fry is he wearing?!? He looks like the demented offspring of Weird Al Yankovic and one of TomStu’s grandma sweaters.

And don’t get us started on the deck shoes with the red curly-cue bows. We. Have. No. Words.