Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

RobNip™ 49.5 – Special Guest Post by @snowwhitedriftd

[tweetmeme source=”robnipulations” only_single=false]

One fine summer day on Twitter, inspired by the name of her blog, RobsButtonsBabe suggested some manips of, what else, Rob’s nipples. Being a fan of the manip, and an owner of photoshop, I was inspired by her invitation.
So, for Rob’s Nipples…
What initially came to mind was that infamous shirtless picture from the New Moon Volterra scene, the pic of Rob, standing in the sun after he removes his shirt. Now, there has been some debate on whether or not Rob has a wonky nipple. I can’t quite tell in this pic and I’m not looking for a better one since, frankly, I just feel creepy googling “nipples”, especially since I’m at work.
Well, dear Rob, if you do in fact have a wonky nipple, I think I can help.
Here we have the aforementioned shirtless Rob pic. Voila, Rob’s nipples, let’s just give them there own celeb couple name, since there are two of them. I christen them “RobsNips.”
*click to enlarge at your own risk*
Read more after the wonky nipple…
Let’s take a closer look for anaylization. Color is good, a little fair, but hey your British, uh, I mean a dead vampire. Size seems about right for a warm or relaxed state. Not too hairy, good, no one wants to use a comb to find a nipple, so the more sparse the better. Here’s the clincher: I think the symmetry may be off, and that’s what we notice. It’s okay Rob, it happens to the best of us. Not all headlights are factory standard, if you know what I mean.
May I suggest some support wear for you, dear Rob? This could conceal the issue as well as offer you the wearer a little extra comfort when you’re on the go, running floppily from set to set.
I give you  “Rob Bras”
What did Seinfeld call it, a Manzire? A Bro? I think Bro is appropriate. So here you go Rob, some Bros which may be to your liking:
The plaid bustier:
This particular one even has that lived in-paint-splatter look that you are so fond of. You can even go Hobo chic with your undergarments. Plaid AND distressed, Rob this Bro was made for you. Even LeStew is a fan of this type of grungy print, you may even get her to wear a matching one. Although we all think you fill it out better.
The TomStu underwire:
This one will remind that your friends are always there, “for support.”
The Beanie Suspension Bro:
Strictly for hangovers, since they, well, just hang over your tits…. Sorry, “RobsNips.” Everyone, well every woman, knows that bra straps and clasps are not your friend when you are praying to the porcelain god after a rampant bourbon bender. So for those times when your tatas are aching from the extra toxins in your body, the Beanie Suspension Bro does the trick.
The Ray Ban Bro:
This one is for those incognito days, situations requiring extra body armor, or just lounging by the pool (we don’t want the RobsNips to burn).  The Ray Ban Bro is constructed of lightweight titanium and lucite, which act as an extra layer of protection between you and overzealous (read: rabid body crushing) fans and Paparazzi. It doubles as your own personal Rob Kevlar, because the RobsNips need shielding too.
So there you have it. Let’s respect RobsNips and get him on board with this campaign.
All Rob Bros are available @ www.VictorsSecret.com

2 responses

  1. 3hboyshouse

    I ❤ the wonky nipple and snowwhitedrifted!

    September 10, 2010 at 11:36 am

  2. Stacey

    This is my first time commenting on this site, but it’s wonderful! Snowwhitedrifted, my dear friend, you had me at Seinfeld’s Bro! Funny!

    September 10, 2010 at 12:04 pm

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