Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

You Fic It, We Nip It: 2nd Place

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Today, we present our second place winner in our “You Fic It, We Nip It” Contest — Bad Days, Disc Jockeys, and Fate — written by @robmusement!!

Read @robmusements “Bad Days, Disc Jockeys, and Fate  after the Vinyl Scratch …

Title: Bad Days, Disc Jockeys, and Fate


What a crap day!

On my way to work this morning, the heel of my favorite, black, leather pumps had stuck in a crack in the sidewalk, breaking it off,  causing me to fall and skin my knee. It stung like a bitch every time I bent my leg, all damn day. I had to slip into a store to buy a new pair of cheap of shoes with the last of the cash I had in my purse. Then I didn’t have any money with which to eat lunch. Buying the shoes had also made me late for work and the boss had yelled at me in front of everyone in the office.

The new shoes caused blisters on the back of my ankles and squished my toes. Two of my colleagues had called in sick which gave me twice the work to accomplish before I could leave for home. And by the time I finally did finish, it had begun to rain. I was soaked when I got to my car. There was road work being done on the interstate and I was stuck in traffic for forty five minutes.

Thank fuck it’s Friday.

I sloshed into my apartment and threw my keys into the glass bowl on the desk by the door. The apartment was small but I loved the open feel it had. The kitchen and living room were combined into one large room, separated only by a step down. Then, a short hallway past the living room with a bedroom on the right, my office on the left, and finally the bathroom at the end.

I kicked the damn heels across the room and pulled my clothes off,  letting them fall to the floor, the rain water puddling around them.

Just my luck, I slipped in the water and skidded half way through the living before losing my balance and falling on my naked butt. I sat there on the floor with my sore knee stretched out in front of me and my face buried in my hands as I cried my eyes out. Fuck it all! Bella Swan is done!

Sick of this day and sick of feeling sorry for myself, I heaved sore, busted ass off of the floor and carefully tiptoed to the kitchen. I pulled the wine from the fridge, quickly decided against the glass and carried the bottle to the bathroom with me.

I turned on the hot water in the big white tub and poured half a bottle of bubble bath under the tap. After adjusting the water temperature, I pulled the cork out of the wine bottle and tipped it up, drinking greedily. Some spilled down my chin and slipped down my neck and between my breasts. I didn’t even bother to wipe it away.

I took a lighter from the drawer of the vanity and lit the three various sized vanilla candles I kept in the bathroom, placing them around the tub. I cranked up the radio on the CD player that sat in the window sill and stepped in the tub, wine bottle in hand. I lowered myself carefully, knowing that when my knee hit the water it was going to hurt like hell.

I sat for a moment, adjusting to the temperature and then stretched my legs out, hissing when my knee slid under the soapy water. Ahhh! The water felt heavenly, warming my chilled body from the rain and calming my nerves. Sitting the bottle of wine on the lip of the tub, I leaned back resting my head on the cushy pink inflatable pillow with the suction cup. I closed my eyes and let the water and music sooth me.

I was listening to The Beatles sing “Let It Be” and pretending I was floating on a cloud, when I decided another drink was in order. As the bubbles filled my mouth and nose, the song ended and the disc jockey came on to give the time and weather report. This d.j. must be new, I had never heard him before and I listened to this station a great deal in the evenings. I would have definitely remembered his voice; it was sexy as hell.

In the few short moments it took him to announce that it was six p.m., fifty-five degrees and still raining, my skin was tingling everywhere. Holy hell! If he could do this to me with just his voice, imagine what the rest of him could do to me. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. It’s crazy to think like that, I told myself. He was probably old and fat.

The water was cooling down and I was feeling a little dizzy from the alcohol and lack of food, so I pulled the plug and stood up, grabbing a fluffy, blue towel from the rack on the wall. I dried off and combed the tangles out of my long brown hair. Then, padded into my bedroom to find some comfortable clothes for the evening. I decided on black yoga pants and and a light pink tank top, skipping undergarments, and pulled them on quickly.

I left the bedroom door open and walked barefoot on the hardwood floors back to the kitchen with my towel. I cleaned up the water on the floor, placing my soaked clothes in a garment bag for the dry cleaners. Back in the kitchen, I opened the fridge and found a block of cheddar cheese and strawberries, then pulled crackers and a Hershey bar from the wooden cabinets, putting everything on a plate. I grabbed a knife, and my friend the wine, and stepped down into the living room switching on the radio once again.

The Who was singing “Reign Over Me” as I flopped down on the over sized brown leather sofa and propped my feet up on the glass top coffee table. Balancing my plate on the cushion next to me, I kept a tight grip on my wine with one hand as I reached over with the other to snag the latest issue of Cosmo off the matching glass topped end table.

As the song ended, Mr. Sexy D.J.’s voice filled the room as he told viewers he would be taking requests after the commercial break. The tone he used caused a shiver to run up my spine. Wonder what he would think if I called and requested him? I laughed out loud at my absurdity.

Flipping through the pages of the magazine, I found an article about stress relief and skimmed through the words. I ate from my platter while I read about the recommended massage and orgasm that would ease all of my tension. I considered just going to my room and taking out the pink glittery dildo I had affectionately named “Robbie”, but after a moment, I pushed that idea aside. I was craving human contact and snorted when the next commercial on the radio advertised Trojan condoms.

The first song request was “from Emmett to Rosalie, Bad Company’s Feel Like Makin’ Love,” and I figured I wasn’t the only one longing for a little attention tonight. Every time Mr. Sexy came back on the air to declare the next song, my thighs involuntarily rubbed together. The ache between my legs was becoming unbearable as he gave the next dedication, “from Alice to Jasper, Kiss You All Over by Exile”.

I slammed the magazine closed and tossed it back on the table. I held the bottle to my lips and let it flow down my throat. This was ridiculous. How can one man sound so damn sexy? His voice was like the bubble bath from earlier, steamy, soothing, and hot as hell. I stood from the sofa to return my now empty plate to the kitchen, stumbling a little, well on my way to being good and drunk.

I was standing at the sink when his voice filtered through again and my entire body shook with arousal. When my sexy disc jockey announced, in his sweeter than honey voice, his name to be Eddie Ecstasy, I nearly came right there on the spot. I leaned on the counter for support as I formulated a plan. I had just enough liquid courage in me to grab the cordless phone from the base where it was mounted on the wall and decide that I too could request a song, maybe see if he sounded any different on the telephone.

He answered the phone on the second ring and, if it was possible, he sounded even better. This is what love sounds like, my mind whispered.

“Hello, FM 107.”

I giggled a little as the flush of arousal crept from face to my neck and chest and then flowed throughout my limbs. Damn, I want this man. I want him to whisper in my ear, with that silken voice, while he does naughty things to me. I want to know if he tastes as sweet as he sounds.

“Hello?” he said again.

Oops! Quit daydreaming Bella, I internally told myself. “Hello sexy Eddie,” I said as seductively as possible in my inebriated state.

He laughed and asked, “what can I do for you, little lady”?

Hmmm, I know just what you can do for me. “I’d like to request a song please. The Rolling Stones, I can’t get no satisfaction.”

Eddie Ecstasy didn’t hesitate when he said, “Well, that is what I am here for.”

“What? To give me satisfaction?” came my retort before I even thought it through.

He didn’t appear fazed by my question. In fact, it felt like he was looking through the reciever into my soul when he asked quietly, “Bad day?”

I sighed heavily, “Yes, very bad.”

“I’ve got some time, tell me about it. You’ll feel better.”

I recounted my entire day beginning with the shoes and getting yelled at in front of my co-workers. He listened attentively and gave encouraging words in all of the right places. When I finished, I was nearly in tears but he was correct, I did feel better.

To be polite and because I really wanted to hear him talk longer, I asked about his day. He had to put me on hold in order to give the hourly report and to declare the request lines closed. I waited eagerly for him. Soon, he was back on the line and explaining how he had just moved to the area and didn’t know anyone so he had no one to help him move into his new apartment.

It was his first day on the job and he had made a few mistakes, the dry cleaning had lost his favorite shirt and the electricity went off in his apartment when the storm began. Then, since he had just moved to Seattle, his dad had decided to call and give him a speech about safety.

I could hear his frustration but I had to laugh, “My dad’s the same way,” I confided. “But, I guess it’s to be expected. He is a cop”.

“Your father is a police officer?”

I confirmed. He humphed, “My dad’s on the force too”.

“Wow! We have something else in common besides this dreadful day.”

“It’s not so dreadful now that I’m talking to you.” Oh boy! I mentally added charm to the increasingly long list of things I liked about this man.

“Well, I know my father means well. Even if he is telling a twenty-six year old adult not to take rides from strangers,” I laughed at the ridiculousness of that conversation.

“Wait!” he yelled, “you’re twenty-six?”


“So am I.”

We were both quiet for a moment, I didn’t know what Eddie Ecstasy was doing but I was trying to calm my breathing that had spiked when I found out he was definitely not old like my original assumption.

“Tell me more about yourself,” he said, now sounding shy.

“Well there’s not much to tell really. My parents divorced when I was two and I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona with my mom until she remarried when I was sixteen. Then I moved in with my dad to allow them space to be newlyweds. My dad, Charlie, is the deputy sheriff in Forks, Washington. It’s a really small town and it rains all the damn…”

“Holy hell,” he exclaimed, cutting off my sentence, “I know where Forks is and I know it rains all the damn time because I grew up there as well. In fact, I know your dad, Charlie. My dad, Carlisle, is the sheriff and works with him everyday. Bella, is that you?”

“Oh my God! Edward Cullen?”

“The one and only. This is too crazy. I can’t believe this happening. I have to tell you Bella, I had the biggest crush on you in school. You were so beautiful and I was such a dork, I never worked up the nerve to ask you out. I used to sit beside you in Biology and fantasize about kissing you,” he admitted quietly with a soft chuckle.

“Edward, shit! I was the nerd and I used to fantasize about you too. I wanted you to ask me out so bad, it was all I thought about.”

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. He cleared his throat and softly asked, “so, uh…is it too late?”

The smile that stretched across my face was ear splitting. “Absolutely not, what time do you get off work?” I wasn’t wasting any more time, fate was definitely working it’s magic in this moment and I’ll be damned if I was letting it pass me.

“My shift is over in twenty minutes and I can come over right after… or I can call you tomorrow or meet you somewhere…” he rambled nervously.

“Now! I want you now… shit, I mean, I’d like it if you came over tonight after work.” It was his turn to laugh at my verbal spew.

We chatted a few more minutes as I gave him directions to my apartment. “Uh, Bella?” he interrupted my explanation of the apartment building. “I moved into that same building yesterday.”

“Holy crow! Do you believe in fate Edward?”

“I damn sure do now. I’ll be there in half an hour,” he said excitedly and hung up.

I raced around the apartment, straightening up. I combed my hair and brushed my teeth, then decided to spritz on perfume. I was nervous and pacing the floor thirty minutes later.

When the knock at the door came, I ran to answer it, pulling the door open and gazing into the face I had dreamed about for years. He looked much the same but better. His hair was that same rusty brown color and it still stuck up all over his head like he had just jumped out of bed. He was tall and not at all fat. He had broad shoulders and long legs and the muscles in his chest were clearly defined through his tight grey t-shirt. So this is what love looks like, I thought, as I invited him in, stepping to the side to allow his entry.

I closed the door and locked it behind him. No way, I was letting this Greek god slip through my fingers again. I was wondering if I had any rope around this place as I turned from the door to find him right behind me.

“Bella?” he asked as he slowly reached his arms around my waist, watching my face for my reaction “I’ve waited so long to kiss you, please don’t deny me,” he begged.

I didn’t want him to have any doubt that I felt exactly the same way. I threw my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes to crash our lips together.

The second our lips touched, I felt this warm buzzing sensation spread through my body. Edward moaned into my mouth and tightened his hold on me. I was suddenly very aware of not having worn a bra as my nipples hardened against his chest. But at that moment, my nipples weren’t the only hard thing I could feel.

Needing to breath, Edward reluctantly broke the kiss but still held me tight, resting his forehead against mine as we panted together.

“Bella, I swear I didn’t come here for… this,” he said motioning his hand between us. “I really just wanted to see you. And to take you out and learn all about you. I’ll leave now if you want.”

“Edward, I am definitely not letting you leave and we will absolutely be going out on dates and getting to know each other better. But right now, I want you as bad as I think you want me and if you’ll follow me, I’ll be more than glad to show you where my bedroom is located,” I said, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth and praying he didn’t turn me down.

I released my hold on him and led the way down the hall. I paused after crossing the threshold of the room. Again, he was right behind me. We locked eyes and I reached for the hem of my tank top as he mirrored my actions. I pulled it up and over my head and he did the same. I hooked my thumbs in my yoga pants as he reached for his jeans. Huh! I move, he moves. He kicked off his shoes and pulled his pants off at the same time I did.

He was commando, just like me. We stood nude in front of each other and took in the sight before us lowering our eyes to roam over the other. We each took a step forward and our bodies were pressed together again. His hand raised to the back of my neck and then skimmed down my back until he cupped my ass in his palm. Our mouths meeting languidly, our tongues dancing.

We were like two halves of a whole, fitting together, complimenting each other.

Edward picked me up in his arms and layed me gently on the bed. He climbed onto the bed as well, his body hovered over mine as he supported his weight with his arms. Slowly, he lowered himself, pressing my body into the mattress with his own. He kissed me again, light pecks on my lips, then my cheeks and chin. He descended down my body, peppering every inch of skin with the attention of his lips, teeth, and tongue.

When he took my breast in his mouth and lightly bit down, my back arched off the bed and I moaned loudly. He lavished the other breast much the same way and I was lost to him. I raised my hips, looking for friction and was met by hips pushing down into me. “Oh God, Edward, pleeeease.”

“Yes Bella, I want you too, so fucking bad. I can’t wait anymore either.”

He raised slightly, taking hold of his cock and rubbing it between my folds, collecting the pooled moisture there. Edward hissed, “So warm, so wet”.

“For you baby. All for you,” I encouraged him.

He aligned himself with my entrance and pushed inside me with one smooth move. I gasped at the pleasurable pain of him filling and stretching me. “Fuck,” we both cried in unison. He began to move, slowly at first and then picking up speed. I met his thrusts eagerly, the waves of an intense orgasm already making themselves known. I ran my fingertips lightly up his chest and then scraped my nails down his back.

“Can’t… wait… gonna’ cum,” Edward grunted. He reached one hand between our bodies and pressed his thumb into my clit and I was screaming his name as my orgasm ripped through my body. Just as the waves overtook me, Edward’s hips began to convulse and he shouted a string of profanities as he came with me.

He rolled to his side, pulling me with him. He cupped my cheek in his palm and kissed me softly.

“That was well worth the wait,” he remarked with sincerity.

“Indeed,” I wholeheartedly agreed, “it was ecstasy,” I laughed at my own corny joke.

This is what love feels like, my heart sang.


All of the winners’ stories can be found HERE – make sure to change the rating to ALL, or you won’t get any of the rated M stories (read: ALL of the submitted stories).

3 responses

  1. mmmm really good story. glad it got 2nd place.

    July 15, 2010 at 11:15 am

  2. That was hot AND sweet!! Awesome.

    July 15, 2010 at 11:17 am

  3. itsjustme1217

    Thank you so much! I feel really honored

    July 15, 2010 at 1:53 pm

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