Robnipulate (verb): to touch and/or retouch "Robert Pattinson" with skillful hands, by the use of mechanical means.

RobNip™ – A Celebration of the Robeard

You may have noticed that, in the last month or so, we have seen a re-emergence of the Robeard. Now, some think it’s a travesty to hide all of that amazing jaw porn, but we here at RobNipulations disagree.

The Robeard should be celebrated!! Accordingly, today we are exploring other famous beards… the beards heard ’round the world, if you will.

Ah yes, the Roberham Lincoln Beard. He looks all prim and proper, but we know what’s lurking underneath. Can you say commando?! woot!

The Joaquin Phoenix Robeard. Could only occur if Rob suddenly went insane, decided to end his flourishing acting career, and embarked on a mediocre crazy/music tour. For fuck’s sake, we hope this never happens. Keep your sanity, Rob!!

Cast Away Robeard. Now this, we can really get behind. Rob in a mere loincloth, all sweaty and dirty and fuckable? RAWR! What’s not to love?! Rob at his most primal is just fuckhawt. We’d certainly be okay with being marooned on an island with Cast Away Robeard.

13 responses

  1. Lynda from philly (@lostinphilly57)

    OMFG, as soon as I looked at the Joaquin Phoenix beard I almost pissed myself, it just looks so fucking funny (excuse my french) the way his eyes and face looks…..just too much for me……..HaHaHa ……to take?

    Awesome post, its SO funny and I love it. Thanks for brightening up my sucky Monday morning Kelly! Love ya, girl. xo Lynda xoxo

    January 25, 2010 at 10:03 am

    • RobsButtonsBabe

      who’s kelly? o.O

      January 25, 2010 at 10:20 am

      • ginaransomxX

        Bahahahaha.. That’s funny! *footinmouth*

        January 25, 2010 at 10:57 pm

  2. LoveFreedom/Bellanieve

    AHHHHHH,LOL….No BIG beard for me…nooooo…you are hilarious …LUV U

    January 25, 2010 at 10:08 am

    • RobsButtonsBabe

      luv u too *smooches*

      January 25, 2010 at 10:20 am

  3. Lucy

    Robeard is all kinds of awesome 🙂

    January 25, 2010 at 10:33 am

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  5. ValerieeeeFuckup

    i’d surely wanna be stranded on an island with him.<333

    January 25, 2010 at 11:03 am

  6. Michelle from Texas

    How have I not seen this site until now?!?! I’ve been going through the archives, and this is the absolute BEST thing I’ve seen in a long time. You girls are geniuses!

    January 25, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    • Why thank you! @robsbuttonsbabe deserves most of the credit – she does all of the fuckhawt manips 🙂

      January 25, 2010 at 12:17 pm

  7. moonC

    Dude! I will have nightmares… LMAO

    January 25, 2010 at 4:57 pm

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  9. ginaransomxX

    Bahahahaha!! I effin looove the Robeard… Gah… & castaway rob… *thud*

    January 25, 2010 at 10:54 pm

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