RobNip™ 67.1 – Say Anything Rob
Is that…Rob Dobler? OMG. It. Is. He’s only the combination of the two most lovable creatures known to womankind: Rob and Lloyd Dobler, the tender-hearted slacker hero from the modern classic Say Anything. And why is Rob looking so smug? Because he already has his life goals figured out. He knows that he doesn’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. He doesn’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, he doesn’t want to do that.
RobNip™ 64.6 – MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ROBNIPS!
Away in a manger,
no crib for His bed…
Wait, what? That’s not the baby Jesus. You know, if you’re starting to see Rob’s face just about everywhere you look, it might be time to step away from the Twilight. It might even be time for an intervention. Not like we’d know anything about being completely preoccupied by Robert Pattinson. Cos, yeah, we could give or take the guy, really. Give him some sugar or take him for a ride, that is.
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ROBNIPS!
RobNip™ 64.2 – Rudolph Rob
It’s Christmas Karaoke time at RobNips! And a one, and a two, and a three…
Robert the red-nosed reindeer,
is looking at us like WTF?
Why do you make these manips?
You don’t even earn make a buck!
All of my Brit Pack buddies,
Used to think I was cool,
Now they all read this blog,
and they point and laugh like fools…
Aw, we’d feel sorry for him if he didn’t look so darn adorable being the butt of our jokes. A butt we’d smack. Fondle. Pinch. Whatever. Jokes + Rob + butts = happy RobNips blog hoors is what we’re saying.
RobNip™ 63.1 – Holiday Rob
Joy to the world! It’s Holiday Rob.
We’re not sure about you guys, but we’re a tad more interested in unwrapping the package in the lower half of this picture. Just sayin. Annnnnd insert holiday-appropriate sexual innuendo about stuffing our stockings, being on the naughty list, and singing things like Oh Come All Ye Faithful.
RobNip™ 62.1 – Shake Weight Rob
Oooooh. Rob has found the newest workout routine… So I guess you just jerk that thing all around, whacking it back and forth and generally playing with it until you’re satisfied, right? It definitely looks like Rob is getting satisfied, that’s for sure…
RobNip™ 61.1 – Fashion Fail Rob
Back by unpopular demand, it’s Fashion Fail Week at RobNips!
To be honest, we don’t feel particularly sorry for Rob for having to wear this metrosexual monstrosity. Sympathy should instead be directed at the poor soul who had to wax this hairball of a man down to baby smoothness. Cos…yeah. A bitch could see her reflection in that blindingly shiny chest.
RobNip™ 60.4 – Lord Voldebert
Holy shit. There’s nothing scarier than Lord Voldebert. I feel like I need to avert my eyes, frankly.
Well, on the upside, if you like to be punished, Lord Voldebert is the man for you. Whether he’s having his followers carve words into your arms or merely spanking you whilst you are tied up, it should be a fun (and scary) time for all!
RobNip™ 60.1 – Harry Pottinson
To celebrate the release of Deathly Hallows, this week is a Salute to Harry Potter here at RobNips!
Jokes about his powerful magic wand aside, Harry Pottinson is pretty damn badass. He looks like he wants to fry some villains now and ask questions later. And there’s nothing cooler than a evil-hating, righteously avenging, pissed-off dude.
RobNip™ 59.3 – FanFic Writing Rob
Looks like Rob just thought of one awesome plot bunny. And not for nothing, but how many Twilight/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle crossover fics have you read? We think dude might be writing the next MotU with that idea. Just sayin.
Speaking of fanfic that is packed full of originality and fucktabulous writing, check out these recommendations:
Breaking News
Two network news anchors. One desk. In a race to get the story, love might become the headline – if they don’t kill each other first. AU/AH Canon Couples, smart people, particle physics, and tap dancing. Rated M, Romance/Humor, Bella & Edward
On Grey Mornings
Bella’s tryst with power made her infamous. Hounded and ashamed, she’s back in Forks to start over again, but where do you find a clean slate when everyone who sees you already knows your biggest secret? AH, adult stuff. Rated M, Romance/Drama, Bella & Edward
Punch Drunk
Edward moves to Portland to start college and a new chapter in his life. After meeting a brown-eyed girl, he wonders if love is truly blind. AH, OOC, Rated M, Romance/Drama, Bella & Edward
Renfield and Chiclets
COMPLETE. Edward Cullen, PhD: brilliant, nerdy, mildly attractive, and obsessed with Blood and Vampires. Oh, and pervertedly horny. Join him as he searches for Ms. Right. AH/Severely OOC/Very M ***Citrus galore with a fun little plot*** Rated M, Romance/Humor, Bella & Edward
Some Life in Me
An accident claims the lives of Edward’s family. Unable to deal with his grief, he walks away from his life. He meets Bella, a young woman running from her past. He can help her. Can he return to his life? AH, Rated M, Romance/Drama, Bella & Edward
RobNip™ 57.5 – Mark Twain Rob
Our week-long salute to NaNoWriMo draws to a close today with Mark Twain Rob. The two men do have their similarities: unkempt hair and a tendency to skip shaving. I doubt the author born Samuel Clemens would have used a pseudonym as edgy as Spunk Ransom, but Twain was pretty badass back in the day. Twain was ‘bi-coastal’ way before that word ever existed, and was rumored to have a strong weakness for both pretty girls and alcohol. Sound familiar?
RobNip™ 57.1 – Shakespeare Rob
November is National Novel Writer’s Month! It’s also known as NaNoWriMo, where novice as well as experienced writers put pen to paper and fingers to keyboard to try and churn out an original novel, from scratch, within the span of a month. Good luck to the fanfic writers participating.
So for all the writers out there, this week is RobNip’s Salute to NaNoWriMo!
Alas poor Yorrick…wait, what? Alright, now I’m pissed. Who broke the pipe off my favorite bong? I wear the fly tunic and tights just for this bong and someone breaks the damn thing. That’s it, no more parties in my trailer. I’m done with trifling fools messing with my diggity dank.
Rob-O-Ween 2.5 – Ken Doll Rob
Oh, Rob. What have we done to you? You look like the rejected seventh sibling from the talent show episode of the Brady Bunch. First, it’s just one of the gravest sins against nature to cover your hair with…whatever that thing is. But worse than that is dressing you up as a Ken doll in the first place. The thing about Ken is…how do we say this? He’s not sporting anything under those polyester pants except for completely flat, completely smooth, molded plastic. Yeah, we just died a little on the inside simply from contemplating that.
Rob-O-Ween 2.1 – Keg Rob
It’s week two of RobNips Rob-O-Ween week! And what better way to start off a Monday morning than Rob dressed as a beer keg? Because, yes, we would absolutely tap that. Get it? Keg…tap that? Yeah, okay. It’s Monday morning, alright? Can’t write the semi-passable punchlines every day of the week.
Rob-O-Ween 1.5 – Double Occupancy Rob
Halloween might be just once a year, but Rob definitely doesn’t let this opportunity go to waste. It’s his one chance to prove to the world that he can, in fact, get laid. Even if it is with a woman made of nylon and polyfiber stuffing. We’re not sure how convincing it looks, but those feet look just like his.
Rob-O-Ween 1.1 – Snake Charmer Rob
It’s the RobNips First Annual Halloweenie Costume Party! Every day we’ll feature our boy trying to decide on his best, fly-est Halloween costume.
This one should be self-explanatory. The snake, if left to its own devices, will woo the wimminz so entirely and completely that ladies start passing out at the mere sight. He’s gotta keep that thing in check. Plus he plays a mean Stairway to Heaven on that flute.
RobNip™ 54.3 – Pinata Rob
Rob feeling up a boob and looking pleased with himself. Since when is this news? Papier-mâché or not, we don’t think he’s ever met a mammary he didn’t like. Notice the guy groping the other hooter. At least he has the decency to be embarrassed over being busted.
RobNip™ 54.2 – Keg Rob
Please, he couldn’t lift that. That keg probably weighs more than he does. Oh wait, it’s already empty. No wonder he looks so happy. Bogarting the brewski before your bros get to have any. Ah, the life of a rich, famous dude. Collar: popped. Keg: drannnk. Grin: full tilt. Haters be hatin.
RobNip™ 53.5 – Twister Rob
See Rob’s rather smug expression? It’s because he just called “left boob on Rob’s face” and she believed him. Either that, or her boob has a mind of its own. With very good taste in whose face to land on, we might add.
RobNip™ 53.1 – Spin the Bottle Rob
Hey! It’s party games week at RobNips™. Let’s see what kind of zany shenanigans Rob can get himself into, shall we?
Pssst…hey, copperylocks! In the yellow shirt. Yeah, you. Just so you know, the chick about to spin the bottle just stuck a magnet in there so that the bottle will point at you. Girlfriend knows what’s what. She’s studied the electromagnetic pull of your tractor beam of sexy. And by that we mean she totally checked out your package and wants to conduct further research.
RobNip™ 52.1 – Grand Canyon Rob
Alright, we think the road trip shenanigans may have gone too far this time. It doesn’t matter if it was Tom or Sam. But daring Rob to relive his ballet days by doing his best Swan Lake right by the edge of the Grand Canyon just isn’t funny. Okay, maybe the picture is funny. Those guys know what happens when our boy tries to dance. It’s a string cheese explosion.
RobNip™ 51.5 – Flat Tire Rob
That’s life on the road. Sometimes ya just bust a tire. We’re sure Rob wouldn’t have any trouble getting help by a few lady good samaritans just wanting to help a poor guy out. C’mere, baby, let’s work it…give you a rise…pump that jack…
Hell, we might even help with the flat tire.
RobNip™ 51.1 – Road Trip Rob and Company
Oh these crazy kids and their road-trips. Hittin’ the clubs, hangin with the laydeez. You know Sam gets major play wearing that schmexy ascot. Cos nothing screams sex god quite like an ascot. Not gonna lie, TomStu looks a little creepy, like he’s fresh from a stint upstate or maybe finally quitting his job as a carny. It’s difficult to say which. And then there’s Rob. The fly polyester shirt calls all the girls to the yard, but the Long Beach baseball cap is a must. When he’s not with hiz boyz in their ill ride, you know he’s representing the LBC with Snoop D-O-double-G. Cos pasty-white English dudes just roll hardcore like that.
RobNip™ 50.5 - Frat Boy Rob
Wait, this isn’t a manip. This is Rob’s hotel room. Like, wherever he goes. This doesn’t need a caption. It needs a spot in TomStu’s scrapbook. Cos you know home-slice is a total scrap-head.
RobNip™ 50.1 – Art Major Rob
It’s College HomeCumming Week at RobNips!
What do we have here? ArtsyFartsybert! Looks like he takes studying his subjects verra verra seriously. Rob the art major likes to perfect the visual art of painting the female bewbage with the homage and respect it so roundly deserves. Either that or he just likes staring at titties. Take your pick.
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